


Where You Are, Love Is

by cutthroatpixie



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Astrology, Eurovision, F/F, Fanfiction, Gen, M/M, Musicians, Post-Grand Prix Final, Tumblr, Twitter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2017-08-17
Packaged: 2018-09-15 06:30:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 6,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9223208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cutthroatpixie/pseuds/cutthroatpixie
Summary: A collection of Yuri!!! on Ice drabbles. Canon and AU settings. Relationships/Characters/Tags will be added as more drabbles are written.





	1. Someone on the Magical Internet is WRONG

**Author's Note:**

> The first few drabbles in this collection were inspired by this Harry Potter Universe/Quidditch AU: http://archiveofourown.org/works/9148909. They may make more sense if you read that first! Also:
> 
> goblt = wizard tumblr  
> mirror = wizard iphone
> 
> They get better tech after the 90s it's amazing.

It was 2:00 am. Maybe 3:00 am. Yuuri couldn't really read the numbers on the clock since it was on Viktor's side of the bed and he didn't have his glasses on, due to the fact that he was supposed to be _sleeping_.

"Viktor," he grumbled. "Get off your mirror and go to sleep."

Viktor was furiously tapping on his mirror, no doubt typing a novel of a message to whoever he was talking to. "This is important, Yuuri! I have to defend your honour."

"You have to. What? I don't have honour, go to bed." Yuuri tried to take Viktor's mirror away but he was far too sluggish and sleepy to really put up much of a fight. "Please sleep." He sort of patted at Viktor's face before snuggling against his side, hoping maybe that would make him stop whatever the hell he was doing.

Viktor kissed his hair but continued to type away. "I just need to finish explaining to goblt user katsukisuxx82 that they have made some horrible mistakes in their life and are clearly _wrong_ , since you are the greatest Seeker Japan and the world and probably the universe has ever known and you definitely don't suck."

"Oh my god." Yuuri buried his face in Viktor's shoulder. "Stop arguing with people on goblt, somebody is going to find out it's you and then they're going to write another embarrassing article about me in Witch Weekly."

"They should at least change their username, it's rude."

" _You're_ rude. It's probably some 15 year old, just leave them alone. Sleep."

"I'm almost finished." Viktor tapped his phone with finality and then Yuuri supposed he sent whatever the hell garbage message he had typed up from his (not so) secret THEREALnumberoneyuurifan account. "I'll send the rest of the messages in the morning, I suppose. Need to let my sleeping beauty, trophy winning husband get his sleep after all."

The second he heard "sleep", Yuuri was out. He didn't even want to ask about the rest of the messages.


	2. numberoneyuurifan vs. THEREALnumberoneyuurifan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is also inspired by the Quidditch AU

Yuuri generally ignored all of Viktor's "secret" shenanigans on goblt and the Official Quidditch Forums and every other magic social media site on his "secret" account, THEREALnumberoneyuurifan, but it was hard to miss his rants about the "thief who had stolen his true name and place on the Worldwide Wizarding Web", numberoneyuurifan. He had literally been whining for years about the fact that someone else had gotten that username before him. Yuuri did not understand why anyone would want said username in the first place, but whenever he said that to Viktor, he had to listen to him whine about how _he_ wanted that username and Yuuri did not want to hear anymore rants about that username ever again.

Unfortunately for him, that would never happen.

Yuri was over at their place in St. Petersburg, spread out on their couch as if he owned the place, tapping away at his mirror. Viktor was also sprawled out, though on the floor with Makkachin, looking forlornly at his own mirror.

"I still can't believe this person," he told Yuri. "One minute they are on my side, writing angry, yet eloquent essays about Yuuri's fantastic Seeker skills and the next they are refusing to give me the username that is rightfully mine."

Yuri snorted. "Get over it, old man. From the looks of it, they've had that name since before you started mooning over random Seekers."

"He's not random." Viktor glanced up at Yuri and pouted. "He's the best Seeker and he's my husband and _I'm_ his number one fan and deserve that username."

"If you deserved it, why didn't you get it before someone else did?"

Yuuri rolled his eyes as he watched Viktor and Yuri argue. They suddenly stopped, however, and both looked at their phones with similar outraged expressions.

Huh.

Viktor immediately started going off about how goblt user victoryovervikturri was "attempting to tarnish the good name of their pure and loving marriage", but Yuri didn't say anything about what had angered him.

Not wanting to listen to Viktor tap another novel of an overly dramatic rant into his mirror, Yuuri got up to leave the room. On the way to the kitchen, he "happened" to glance down at Yuri's mirror. Yuri didn't seem to notice, too busy also tapping away a much more capslock-ridden reply to the very same post Viktor was currently ranting about.


	3. Interviews with Viktor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Quidditch AU. Dialogue only.

"Mr. Nikiforov, what are you plans for next season?"

"Oh, I think me and my husband, #1 rated Seeker in Japan (and probably the world to be honest) Yuuri Katsuki, are going to take a trip around Europe this summer. We like to do things like that to unwind, you know. Travel together. Stay in hotels together. Order room service together. It's really great and I'm looking forward to it a lot!"

"I meant. The next Quidditch season."

"Oh well we obviously can't take a lot of vacations then, but when we have away games me and Yuuri Katsuki, my husband and Witch Weekly's current Man of the Year, usually travel together and make a holiday of it when we can. I'm hoping the leagues in Japan and Russia make more agreeable schedules than last year, I really hate to miss any of Yuuri's games. The way that man catches a Snitch. Wow. There's nothing like it."

"I. Thank you. That's all we needed to know, I guess."

"Did you know it's called a Snitchnip when any player other than the Seeker touches the Snitch? Fascinating stuff."

"We are aware of the names of quite a number of Quidditch fouls, yes."


	4. JFC Viktor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viktor has lived the life of a bachelor for way too long

One of the first things Yuuri notices about Viktor's apartment ( _their_ apartment, he reminds himself) in Saint Petersburg is that it has one of the most beautiful kitchens Yuuri has ever seen, let alone seen in an apartment.

One of the next things Yuuri notices is that said kitchen is very much lacking in the actual kitchenware department.

"The pots are in the oven," Viktor says when he sees Yuuri looking around. "With the takeout menus."

There are, in fact, two pots in the oven. One looks like it has never been used (the price tag still stuck to the bottom confirms this), the other looks like it has been used far too many times, and not used well, based on the black marks all over it. There are far too many takeout menus to count. Yuuri isn't sure there are actually this many takeout places near Viktor's apartment.

Yuuri doesn't even know where to begin with how wrong this all is. "I'll go buy a rice cooker tomorrow, I guess," is what he decides on.

"Just use the pot? That's always worked for me."

Yuuri looks at the black stains on said pot again. He swears he can almost make out the lines from burnt granules of rice. "You and I have a very different definition of 'works'."

They haven't gone grocery shopping anyway. It's late, they've been travelling for what feels like days, and they have a lot of boxes to unpack. It's not like Yuuri had intended on cooking tonight anyway. He picks up one of the takeout menus (out of the oven. the takeout menus are in the _oven_ ).

"Oh, that place closed down a few years ago." Of course it had. "Try this one instead!"

They eventually find the menu of a place that is a. currently still in business, b. open, and c. actually delivers to Viktor's apartment ("This menu is from a restaurant in Bulgaria, Viktor." "Oh, Bulgaria, that sure takes me back!"). Both Viktor and Yuuri are extremely glad when the food finally arrives.

"Oh no." Viktor is looking through the bags and his face drops when he finishes pulling all the containers of food out.

"Did they forget something?" Yuuri asks.

"The forks."

"Oh, that's okay." Yuuri goes to open a drawer before realising he doesn't know which of the drawers the forks are in. "Where do you keep your forks?"

Viktor points at a drawer to the left of the (never been used. how???) oven. "There might still be some in there."

When Yuuri opens the drawer, he does indeed find forks. In a box. A box of plastic forks. "I. Okay. We'll have to buy some actual utensils tomorrow too."

"Just wash the plastic ones if we run out."

Yuuri ignores that. Yuuri reminds himself that at least Viktor has actual plates and bowls, that at least he has a blender and a toaster, even if those are the only actual appliances anywhere to be seen, that at least he has a nice set of knives (purchased after Viktor had seen an infomercial selling them at a bar, apparently).

Viktor picks up a paring knife out of the knife block and starts sawing into a loaf of bread they'd ordered with their dinner. When Yuuri tells him he should probably sharpen it (he's not even going to comment on the fact that he has a bread knife _right there in the block_ ), Viktor informs him cheerily that, "I didn't even know they made knife sharpeners!"

Yuuri takes him shopping first thing in the morning.

("Wow, this is all really expensive. What's wrong with the stuff I already have?" "Viktor. You ordered a lamp this morning and just laughed when I told you it was 1,000 euros instead of rubles." "I'm not seeing your point, Yuuri.")


	5. #ViktorIsTheLuckyOne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A curious hashtag is trending on Twitter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [youremarvelous](http://archiveofourown.org/users/youaremarvelous/pseuds/youaremarvelous) and I have a lot of amazing convos on tumblr. some of the tweets are from her <3

Yuuri is notoriously bad about checking his Twitter. So bad, in fact, that the one time he posted frequent tweets for a week straight, Mari had called him asking if he'd been hacked (he had been, if one called drunkenly giving Phichit his password and telling him to update it being hacked).

This is why, by the time he notices the existence of #VikorIsTheLuckyOne, it's already been the top trending hashtag for three days straight.

 

 **Viktor Nikiforov ✔** @v_nikiforov  
I can't believe I get to wake up to this every morning for the rest of my life wow #ViktorIsTheLuckyOne

 **Phichit Chulanont ✔** @phichit_chu  
I miss living with yuuri he made the best food (っ_ ‸ – ς) #ViktorIsTheLuckyOne #somebodyfeedmelol

 **Tulsee Bhola** @tulseebee  
@phichit_chu remember when yuuri used to bring cookies to dance class? #ViktorIsTheLuckyOne

 **Viktor Nikiforov ✔** @v_nikiforov  
when he makes you dinner after you nearly burnt the kitchen down again  <3 #ViktorIsTheLuckyOne

 **#1 Yuuri Fan** @numberoneyuurifan  
viktor nikiforov is such an asshole how'd he even get someone like yuuri #ViktorIstheLuckyOne #nikiforovsux

 **Christophe Giacometti ✔** @christophe_gc  
It's really a crime to take an ass like that off the market ;) ;) ;) #ViktorIsTheLuckyOne

 **Brad Roberts** @brrad  
what a legend. we def miss you at the parties in detroit, katsuki! #ViktorIsTheLuckyOne

 **Selene <3** @sktygyrl98  
we luv u yuuri ur dabes <3 #ViktorIsTheLuckyOne

 **Viktor Nikiforov ✔** @v_nikiforov  
yuuri sneezed and it was really cute im shook??? #ViktorIsTheLuckyOne

 **Yuri Plisetsky ✔** @yuri_plisetsky  
why the fuck is #ViktorIsTheLuckyOne still trending what the hell is wrong with everyone

 **Viktor Nikiforov ✔** @v_nikiforov  
when he loves your dog as much as you #ViktorIsTheLuckyOne

 **Makkachin Nikiforov-Katsuki ✔** @makkachinthedog  
woof woof yuuri is my fav  <3 <3 <3 #ViktorIsTheLuckyOne

 **Yuri Plisetsky ✔** @yuri_plisetsky  
@v_nikiforov did you seriously make an account for your dog? what the hell #ViktorIsTheLuckyOne #howisheverified

 **THE REAL #1 Yuuri Fan** @THEREALnumberoneyuurifan  
@numberoneyuurifan for once i agree with you! how did viktor get so lucky??? #ViktorIsTheLuckyOne

 **Mila Babicheva ✔** @baba_mila  
Yuuri brought us all bento to practice, can we keep him forever? #ViktorIsTheLuckyOne

 **Viktor Nikiforov ✔** @v_nikiforov  
@baba_mila of course we can! #ViktorIsTheLuckyOne

 **Viktor Nikiforov ✔** @v_nikiforov  
when you see his baby pictures and realize hes always been this cute??? #ViktorIsTheLuckyOne #imcrying

 **Katsuki Mari** @thebestkatsuki  
@v_nikiforov you still owe me for those, by the way #ViktorIsTheLuckyOne

 

The tag continues on like that, an alert at the top of the screen letting him know that more tweets have been added to the hundreds already there, just while Yuuri's been scrolling. There's tweets from other skaters, Viktor, old rinkmates and classmates back in Detroit, Viktor, random fans, Viktor, and even his sister and Minako have joined in. He almost wants to see what started it, but after the first hundred or so messages filled with increasingly ridiculous praise for him, he has to stop.

"Oh!" Yuuri nearly jumps out of his skin when a loud exclamation comes from right next to his ear and Viktor really has to stop sneaking up on him like that. "You finally found it. My Yuuri is so popular."

"Why did you start this?" Because Yuuri is pretty sure Viktor had to have been the one to start all this nonsense. "Have you all just been teasing me this whole weekend?"

Viktor looks scandalised. "Nobody is teasing you, solnyshko, we are letting everyone know how great it is to have you around!" Viktor wraps his arms around Yuuri's shoulders and ghosts his lips against Yuuri's cheek. Yuuri doesn't even have to look away from his laptop screen to know Viktor's phone is out to take a selfie. "I think my next tweet should be about your lovely smile, can I get one please?"

Yuuri is a little flushed and the smile he gives to Viktor's phone is more sheepish than the, "Hashtag radiant, hashtag blessed," tags Viktor is putting in the photo caption, but Viktor seems happy enough.

When Viktor is satisfied, he kisses Yuuri's cheek again, this time without the addition of a camera. "How could you ever think we were teasing?" he asks.

Yuuri doesn't really want to have the "I honestly can't believe people are being sincere when they compliment me" conversation again, so instead of answering, he asks, "How _did_ you get Makkachin verified, anyway?"

 

 **Viktor Nikiforov ✔** @v_nikiforov  
@yuri_plisetsky sorry yurio, only my fiance knows all my verification secrets! ;) #ViktorIsTheLuckyOne


	6. 38% compatibility my ass

Yuuri wakes up to a partially empty bed (Makkachin is still there, spreading himself out over Viktor's side) and a furious _clack-clack-clack_ coming from the living room. It's 2:53 am according to the clock on his bedside table but he goes to investigate nonetheless, despite the urge to snuggle back under the blankets and fall back asleep.

Viktor is in the living room, sprawled out on the couch, typing what surely must be a novel on his laptop, because of _course_ that's what he should be doing at nearly 3:00 in the morning.

Viktor notices him right away, at least. "Yuuri!" He temporarily pauses his typing to pout up at his fiancé. It's the same pout he gives Yuuri when he's arguing with people on Twitter and Yuuri immediately knows they are not going back to bed any time soon. "You think we're more than 38% compatible, right?"

"What."

"This page! It says our relationship "isn't ideal". _I_ think it's ideal!"

It is too late/early for this. Yuuri slumps onto the couch, nudging Viktor's computer off his lap so he can rest his head there instead. "I think it would be more ideal if we were sleeping."

Viktor starts lightly massaging Yuuri's scalp with one hand and Yuuri would almost consider it a victory (hah) if Viktor wasn't continuing to type with his other hand. "5% intimacy compatibility," Viktor mumbles. "We're so intimate!"

"Could be more intimate if you'd come back to bed."

"10% trust." Viktor sounds absolutely appalled. The typing continues. "I trust you 100% Yuuri!"

"Mmm." Yuuri would like the hand in his hair to continue and the hand on the laptop to knock it off. It does not. "Maybe I don't trust me and that brought the score down."

Viktor stops petting Yuuri's hair and Yuuri almost whines at him. "That is exactly what it says, oh no."

"Viktor I was joking." Yuuri glances over at the laptop, now balanced precariously on the arm of the couch, just in time to see Viktor tabbing over from Tumblr (where he is logged in as "capsag4lyfe" because Viktor clearly needs more side accounts) to an astrology website. "Stop arguing with websites and come sleep. Please."

"The highest one is communication Yuuri and that's only 75%! What's wrong with our communication?"

Yuuri slides a hand up under Viktor's shirt. The skin on his stomach is unusually warm. Unlike the skin on his feet, which much surely be the coldest recorded temperature on Earth. "I am trying to communicate that I want you to sleep," he says. "And I'm giving you a 0% on listening to that."

The typing stops again, finally. "Yuu-riii," Viktor whines. "You are not taking this seriously."

"I'm too tired. And you're warm. Get off the computer."

"But you agree with me? The site is wrong."

"Well I'm certainly not marrying you just because a website told me to."

The laptop is finally, blessedly, set down on the floor and before Yuuri has the chance to lament the fact that he now has to get up in order to go back to bed, Viktor is sliding out from under him and lifting him up into his arms. "Do I still get 0% on listening to your demands go to sleep?"

Viktor's hands are cold and his shoulder is a bit bony but Yuuri would surely give Viktor 100% on that front, if he were actually still awake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [this website is savage af](http://www.astrology-zodiac-signs.com/compatibility/sagittarius-capricorn/)


	7. ASTROLOGYISWRONG

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a follow up to "38% compatibility my ass", though many of you have seen it already ;)

**capsag4lyfe asked:**   
_MY BEAUTIFUL WONDERFUL AMAZING TALENTED BF IS A SAGITTARIUS AND IM A CAPRICORN AND THINGS KEEP SAYING WERE NOT COMPATIBLE BUT??? WHAT DO YOU THINK  
_ you're a loser and don't deserve him fuck off

Viktor stared at the answer from tumblr user actualcapricornfacts in complete and utter horror. He could they think such a thing? He absolutely didn't deserve somebody as wonderful as Yuuri, but how could a very serious astrology blog that posted actual, factual Capricorn facts say that to his face (his Tumblr face, which was a drawing he did of a centaur and a seagoat, obviously).

**To:** Phichit  
i asked that blog and they said the same thing im :(

**From:** Phichit  
You know what? Astrology is fake  
I have just now decided that because we are obviously both very compatible with Yuuri!!!  
Who else has a friendship more beautiful than me and Yuuri? Who else has the shipname VIKTUURI?  
Nobody

**To:** Phichit  
holy shit your right  
we need to tell the world this  
im callin yurio too hell want in

\---

**ASTROLOGYISWRONG**  
November 23, 3:22:22 am

**Sagittarius to capricorn:** wow i love you so much and we are super compatible and our love is written in the stars  <3  
 **capricorn to Sagittarius:** holy shit your right i love you so much wow  <3 <3 <3

#astrology #saggitarius #sagittarius #sagitarrius #capricorn #seriously how to spell sag #compatible af #sag is bae #actual real star facts #that are true

**ASTROLOGYISWRONG**  
November 23, 3:24:01 am

SAGITTARIUS AND PISCES HAVE A DEEP BOND THAT GOES BEYOND THE ONE SAGITTARIUS HAS WITH CAPRICORN AND IT'S FUCKING BEAUTIFUL AND CAPRICORN NEEDS TO STOP LAUGHING AT ME _RIGHT THE FUCK NOW_

#astrology #sagittarius #pisces #AT LEAST I KNOW HOW TO SPELL

**ASTROLOGYISWRONG**  
November 23, 7:31:45 am

Sagittarius and Taurus #CONFIRMED as best friends 5lyfe! No arguments will be accepted!!!

#astrology #sagittarius #taurus #you two need to stop yelling #you're keeping our beautiful centaur buddy up

**ASTROLOGYISWRONG**  
November 23, 3:45:02 am

Sagittarius loves Capricorn, Taurus, and Pisces very much (and would like to not listen to any arguments about the order of that list, please), but is going to kick Capricorn out of the bed, make Pisces stay the night at their own house, and refuse to send Taurus good morning selfies if they don't all GO TO BED.

#GO TO SLEEP ALL OF YOU


	8. Lobos

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After #ESCSochi, Viktor and Yuuri have a very serious conversation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part of my Eurovision AU lol

"Yuuri, I've been thinking." Viktor and Yuuri were sprawled out in Viktor's bed, in his apartment in St. Petersburg. Viktor was lucky Yuuri hadn't fallen asleep yet, because Yuuri was really getting sick of hearing that exact sentence at odd hours of the night.

"Have you?"

"About the future."

That sounded like the beginning to a very long conversation. Yuuri could only hope the clock would not turn 12:00 before it was over. He doubted it. "What exactly about the future?"

"You know the movie 'Dances With Wolves'?"

"I. That is not where I thought this was going. I guess?"

"I've never seen it," Viktor told him. "But I saw the title and I was inspired!"

"To do what, exactly?"

"I know they probably won't have me sing at the Eurovision again." _Probably_. "But I'm sure they'll ask me to dance as part of the act. I should dance with wolves! It would be very shocking, I'm sure."

"Isn't that a bit over the top? Can you even dance with live animals on the stage?"

Viktor waved his hand as if those were erroneous details. They probably were for him. "Is it over the top enough though, Yuuri? I really need to step up my game. The audience comes for a full experience, you know, not just a song."

"Wolves, though?"

"Wolves, Yuuri. Wolves."


	9. Viktor Discovers FanFiction Pt. 1

“Yuuri! Yuuri come quick!”

Viktor was shouting from their bedroom, urgently calling for Yuuri. Yuuri had long since learned that Viktor “urgently” asking for him didn’t actually mean whatever he wanted to show Yuuri was urgent.

He rushed into the room anyway (if Viktor asked why the trash hadn’t been taken out yet, he could alway say it was Viktor’s fault this time).

“What is it?”

“Look, look!” Viktor was sprawled out on his stomach, spread across their bed, Makkachin on his legs, laptop resting against the footboard. “Come here, you have to see what Chris just sent me.”

Yuuri nudged Viktor over so he could sit on the bed and look at whatever was on Viktor’s laptop. Probably another cat video.

Viktor pointed at, not a video of Chris’ cat, but a wall of text underneath the title _You Mocha Me Crazy!_. “Is this another list of pick up lines?”

“No no, I like to save those to actually use. Just read!”

“It was a warm, sunny afternoon when Viktor walked into the Ice Castle Cafe for the very first time,” Yuuri read aloud. He paused, brow furrowing in confusion. “The Ice Castle isn’t a cafe? And it was snowing the first time you came to Hasetsu.”

“I know!” Viktor looks absolutely delighted, sitting there with his head propped up on his arms. “It’s a story!”

“Oh no,” Yuuri mumbled. He leaned over to scroll up the page, where sure enough, a header could be found right above the title.

**Rating:** Mature  
 **Archive Warning:** No Archive Warnings Apply  
 **Categories:** M/M  
 **Fandom:** Figure Skating RPF  
 **Relationships:** Katsuki Yuuri/Viktor Nikiforov  
 **Characters:** Viktor Nikiforov, Katsuki Yuuri, Yuri Plisetsky, Phichit Chulanont, Christophe Giacometti  
 **Additional Tags:** Coffee Shop AU, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, no figure skating, M for yuri’s mouth lol, no smut in this one sorry!  
 **Language:** English

“Viktor. This is fanfiction.”

“Mhmm.”

“About us.”

“Yup!”

“And Chris sent it to you.”

“He didn’t write it,” Viktor said quickly. “He just found it. It’s not the only one, though!”

“I guess I did work at a coffee shop in Detroit for awhile.”

“Well I certainly hope you didn’t meet any cute Russian guitarists like in this one.”

“Mm. Just a cute Russian pianist.”

Viktor sat up for the sole purpose of hitting Yuuri with one of their pillows. Makkachin whined. Yuuri laughed. The fanfic was forgotten for the moment in favour of a pillow fight (which, Viktor would discover later, was the subject of more than one fanfiction about them).


	10. Viktor Discover FanFiction Pt. 2 (Let's Take it to Twitter!)

**Viktor Nikiforov ✔** @v_nikiforov  
I absolutely cannot believe some people

**Viktor Nikiforov ✔** @v_nikiforov  
I would never cheat on yuuri!

**Viktor Nikiforov ✔** @v_nikiforov  
he is the love of my life HE IS MY LIFE

**Viktor Nikiforov ✔** @v_nikiforov  
do people think so little of me???

**Viktor Nikiforov ✔** @v_nikiforov  
what have I ever done to make them think I’d do something like

**Viktor Nikiforov ✔** @v_nikiforov  
he could never take the trash out again and I’d still love him

**Viktor Nikiforov ✔** @v_nikiforov  
@katsuki_y YUURI YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU RIGHT  
  
 **Yuri Plisetsky ✔** @yuri_plisetsky   
@v_nikiforov @katsuki_y what the hell is going on right now

**Katsuki Yuuri ✔** @katsuki_y  
@v_nikiforov Please come out of the bathroom and stop reading fanfiction wow  
  
 **Katsuki Yuuri ✔** @katsuki_y   
@christophe_gc This is all your fault

\---

**THE REAL #1 Yuuri Fan** @THEREALnumberoneyuurifan  
@v_nikiforov wow what kind of terrible fan would write such terrible things :(

**Viktor Nikiforov ✔** @v_nikiforov  
@THEREALnumberoneyuurifan I know it’s terrible? they claim to love yuuri and then write about us GETTING DIVORCED???

**#1 Yuuri Fan** @numberoneyuurifan  
@THEREALnumberoneyuurifan REAL yuuri fans know he’s too good for viktor

**THE REAL #1 Yuuri Fan** @THEREALnumberoneyuurifan  
@numberoneyuurifan and to think I reblogged your manifesto about yuuri yesterday wow

**THE REAL #1 Yuuri Fan** @THEREALnumberoneyuurifan  
@numberoneyuurifan never talking to you again

**Viktor Nikiforov ✔** @v_nikiforov  
my poor dear sweet husband has some really mean fans :(

**Yuri Plisetsky** @yuri_plisetsky  
@v_nikiforov we all have shitty fans get over it

**Katsuki Yuuri** @katsuki_y  
@yuri_plisetsky I called Yakov and let him know you were on your phone again during rink time

**Katsuki Yuuri** @katsuki_y  
@v_nikiforov Please get off Twitter I am begging you

**Yuri Plisetsky** @yuri_plisetsky  
@katsuki_y FUCK YOU WHAT THE HELL I’M SORRY


	11. Indirect Kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short additional scene from my fic [The Song Inside of Me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10437498)

Viktor finishes up a very impassioned rendition of (You Drive Me) Crazy on his clarinet. He is not met with thunderous applause because Yuuri isn't capable of clapping quite that loud and Makkachin and Vicchan can't clap at all, but he looks quite pleased with himself nonetheless.

"I'll show you how to do the piano part so I don't have to use the recording of me playing it next time!"

(Yuuri is sure if he told his past self that all those piano lessons would one day lead to him playing Britney Spears duets with Viktor Nikiforov, he wouldn't believe him at all.)

Viktor says something Yuuri doesn't quite catch and then nudges at Yuuri's arm when he doesn't respond. Yuuri looks up to find a clarinet right in front of his face. "Huh?"

"I said it's your turn! I played clarinet for you, now you play for me."

"I don't play clarinet."

Viktor simply shrugs and taps Yuuri's lip with the end of the mouthpiece. "Just for fun."

Yuuri ends up taking the clarinet. He wets his lips and tests the instrument before clumsily playing the notes for Hot Cross Buns. Viktor claps far more than in necessary once he's played it through a few times. "You actually made real notes come out of it! I’m impressed.”

“It’s not like that’s the first time in my life I’ve ever seen a clarinet, Viktor. Come on."

"It's too bad, though," Viktor says with a sigh. "Our first kiss being via clarinet reed."

"Our first...?" Yuuri laughs once he processes what Viktor has said. "You're a huge dork. At least it was strawberry flavoured, I don't think a real kiss would taste like that at all."

"I could always get strawberry flavoured chapstick."


	12. Summer in St. Petersburg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for [MilaSara Week](https://milasaraweek.tumblr.com/) over on tumblr!   
> Day 1: Domestic/Future

“It’s freezing outside. I don’t know how you didn’t need a jacket today.” **  
**

Mila didn’t need to glance up from the cucumber she was chopping to tell that Sara was pouting. “It was 17 degrees today! It’s very nice out. Viktor said Yuuri and he went to the beach, even.”

“You’re all crazy, then. Mickey told me it was 27 back home today. That’s much better weather for the beach.” Sara slid a large bowl across the counter to Mila. “There’s the rest of the vegetables.”

“Thanks! You’re must faster at chopping than I am.” Mila added the cucumbers to the mixture of potatoes, scallions, dill, and radishes that Sara had expertly prepared. “And we should go to Italy next summer, if you’re so worried about freezing to death here.”

“I don’t think I’ll die,” Sara replied with a laugh. “I just don’t understand how you’re wearing shorts and a tank top.”

“I’m Russian. I could wear shorts and a tank top in -17.”

“You could not.”

“I did! Once. I only made it 30 seconds before Yakov dragged me back inside, but I still won the bet and Yurio had to pay me 1000 rubles.”

Sara laughed again. “That doesn’t count.” Sara watched as Mila added some boiled eggs to the vegetable mixture. “You said sausage goes in this too? Do you need me to cook some?”

Mila shook her head. “There’s some leftover in the fridge, use that.”

A few minutes later, Mila was adding the finishing touches on her father’s “secret” okroshka recipe and it was time to eat. “I must warn you,” she started as she dished up a bowl of the soup for Sara. “This is a cold soup, so you might get much too chilled, seeing as how it’s practically winter here.”

Sara rolled her eyes. “I’ll live.” Her phone chimed, once, twice, three times in quick succession before she tossed it onto the counter. “Though if I died, maybe Mickey would stop texting me.”

“From what I’ve seen of him, I highly doubt that.” The phone continued to go off as they made their way into Mila’s living room, but both women ignored it in favour of curling up on the couch to enjoy their soup.


	13. EVEN MORE WOLVES

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two years after #JoinUS, Viktor just wants to perform with some wolves

Viktor hadn’t been allowed to actually poledance during ESC Sochi.

Viktor had been denied his request to dance with live wolves during ESC Gothenburg (he also hadn’t gotten to sing again, but he knew all too well that was a perfectly reasonable thing to deny him).

ESC Kaunas was going to be his year. He could feel it. 

“I am not dancing in a wolf costume,” was something Yuri Plisetsky would say if it was not Viktor’s year. But it was. So Yuri was not saying that. “What is wrong with you.”

“What about a tiger costume?” 

“Yuuri,” Viktor pouted. “We can’t stray from the wolf theme!”

“Right right, I’m sorry. Wolf t-shirts? Much easier to dance in.”

“T-shirts are just not show stopping enough.” Viktor loved Yuuri but honestly. They really needed to step up their game.

“We could bedazzle them? Add lights?” Viktor internally took it all back. Yuuri was a _genius_.

“Why are we even talking about this?” Yuri asked. “Nobody asked us to dance in their performance.”

“They will,” Viktor replied with certainty. “Somebody always does.”

\---

Channel 1 had selected, once again, a duet for the contest. They did not call upon any of the back up dancers used in previous years, including Viktor.

Viktor was unphased by this. “Other countries ask me to do back up for them all the time, I’m not worried about it.”

“Maybe your ass has lost it’s luster.” 

Viktor laughed. “You’re hilarious, Mila.”

“They might ask your Yuuri, though.” Mila nodded her head over toward where Yuuri was bent down, attempting to clean up some of Viktor’s glitter he’d accidentally spilled onto the floor. “That booty just might be the new Eurovision tradition.”

“Well of course it is.” Viktor was very proud of Yuuri and his songwriting and piano playing and also his ass. “But you can have more than one traditional ass at the same time!”  


\---

France did not ask Viktor to perform with them again, nor did Switzerland (“Sorry mon ami, I tried,” Chris had explained. “They’re doing a strange waltz thing this year and you are not exactly known for your ballroom skills.”)

“Germany might need dancers?” Yuuri suggested. “One of them quit during their practice the other night. They already have costumes and choreography decided, though.”

His dear sweet Yuuri had finally moved up in the world, from writing songs or the U.K. to writing songs for a country that might actually have a chance of winning this year. Viktor was so proud of him! But. “But we already made the wolf shirts, Yuuri. We can’t let them go to waste!”

\---

Germany did, in fact, need a couple new back up dancers and were more than happy to let both Viktor and Yuri fill in the spots.

(“Why are you dragging me along,” Yuri had whined. “I never said I wanted to perform with you again.”

“Should I see if they want Mila instead?”

“I am not letting that hag take my spot, fuck off.”)

Viktor and Yuri showed up to practice with the other dancers, sparkling, glittery, rhinestone encrusted wolves proudly adorning their work out t-shirts.

The singer approached them almost immediately. Viktor hadn’t met her before, but he already knew he liked her, since it was her who had personally asked Yuuri to write a song for her to perform while Germany was casting for the ESC. “I’m so glad you could join our team,” she told Viktor, a wide smile on her face. She looked down at his t-shirt (how could she not, it was practically a light source in and of itself) and her smile somehow managed to grow even wider. “Do you have more of those?”

“ _No way_ ,” Yuri mumbled.

“I can make more!” 

“Great! They look wonderful, I think they’ll really add something to the performance.”

“How?!” Yuri asked, out loud this time. Very much out loud. 

She shrugged. “Wolves are cool.”

Viktor was right. Even if he still wasn’t getting actual wolves, this really was going to be his year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! I'm doing a [timestamp meme](http://cutthroatpixie.tumblr.com/post/160409617904/timestamp-meme) over on tumblr if anyone has requests. Also, please let me know if I missed any typos. The f and v keys on my keyboard are broken and it is hard to copy paste them every single time >:


	14. Why are they like this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some extra scenes from Russian for Dummies in Phichit's POV

“Phichit,” Yuuri calls out the second he enters their shared apartment. “I need you to look at something.”

Phichit comes out of the kitchen, carrying a bowl of broccoli (for his hamsters), a banana (for himself), and a bag of potato chips (for Yuuri). He sees Yuuri holding out his phone, looking a mixture of confused, concerned, and vaguely pleased. “Someone send you a dick pic again?”

“What? No!” Yuuri groans and continues to hold his phone out to Phichit. “I don't think he meant to send me anything.”

Phichit sets down all the food on their coffee table and finally takes Yuuri’s phone. He doesn't understand why Yuuri’s showing him the email at first, since he's not in the Russian department, and then he thinks it must be because this new Russian TA sounds like he has some odd teaching methods. By the end, however… “Oh my god. You're the cute Japanese boy!”

“I must be?” Yuuri says from where he is now laying on the couch, opening the bag of cheese and onion Ruffles Phichit brought out for him. “I was the only one in the room when he sent the email and no other Japanese students showed up?”

“What's he like? Is he cute? Should I be getting ready to plan a wedding right now? You asked him out, right?”

“He's… Russian?” Yuuri says it like a question but Phichit knows it's not. Obviously a man with a name like Viktor Nikiforov who teaches Russian classes is at least of Eastern European descent. 

“Obviously.” Phichit lifts Yuuri's legs so he can sit down on the couch as well. 

“He asked if I would give him extra tutoring, Phichit.”

“In what? Love?”

“In Russian.”

Phichit laughs before realising Yuuri is serious. “You didn't tell him you saw the email.”

“Well he clearly didn't mean to send it to me.”

“Oh Yuuri.” Phichit pats him on the knee. “Well I'm sure he'll tell you the truth next study session. He can't pretend to not speak Russian for very long.”

\---

It’s weeks later and Phichit is willing to admit he was maybe a little bit wrong. 

“Why is he like this?” he asks Phichit, in between bites of funfetti frosting. “I walked into his class and he still somehow pretended to be a student?”

“Why is he like this? Why are you like this?” Phichit has seen the study notes with Viktor’s number on them and yet he has not yet been asked to help compose any texts asking him out for non-study related activities. “Have you asked him out yet? He's going to say yes.”

“He hasn't asked me out either.”

“He gave you his number. And asked for “private pronunciation lessons”. And brought you a caramel mochaccino to the last study session.”

“He also showed me pictures of his dog and he's the cutest.”

“Viktor or the dog?”

“Both?”

“Ask him out.”

“I don't know…”

“Ask. Him. Out. In Russian! Then he’ll have to fess up to get the date.”

“I'll try.” Phichit isn't sure he has to try that hard. From what he's heard through the grapevine, he's surprised Viktor hasn't already proposed. “I get kind of flustered when I talk to him about anything other than his fake Russian homework.”

“Oh Yuuri. Oh my dear sweet Yuuri.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still doing the [timestamp meme](http://cutthroatpixie.tumblr.com/post/160409617904/timestamp-meme)!


	15. 5 minutes before viktor made a fool of himself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another timestamp meme. This one is russian for dummies, five minutes before the story started :)

Katsuki Yuuri (Yuuri Katsuki, according to the romanised version of his name on his visa and in the university system) was many things. He was Japanese (born in Japan, to Japanese parents, grew up speaking Japanese, had a Japanese sister and a dog that was technically Japanese too he supposed, yadda yadda yadda, etc.). He was a third year university student. He was a dog lover, a fan of action movies, and probably the most frequent customer at both the Arby’s and Burger King.

He was also late to his Russian study group.

On the first day.

With a new teacher’s assistant.

“Ugh,” was all he mumbled to himself when he took off running toward his next destination.

The part of campus where he’d just finished his modern dance class (thirty minutes ago, he really needed to pay more attention to the time when people asked him for help after class ended) was unfortunately not all close to where the study session was going to be held.

It normally took him 15 minutes to walk over.

He made it in five.

(It would take him another five to realise he was actually early, and also that the cute “beginner” student was actually a very cute teacher’s assistant with some questionable studying techniques).


	16. Bathroom Rivals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part of the rivals au I created with my good friend youremarvelous

“Unscrew the metal slip nuts… Yuuri! What’s a metal slip nut?”

Yuuri turned his screen towards Viktor. “I have no idea, but this person in the video is unscrewing something on the pipe?”

Viktor looked at the video on Yuuri’s laptop. 

“That looks much less complicated than these instructions make it sound. We can do that!”

Yuuri squinted at the video. “Do we even have a pipe wrench?”

“Yakov might!”

“Don’t call Yakov right now… you’re already doing it aren’t you.”

“I am!”

“Don’t tell him why, he’s going to think I’m awful.”

“Yakov! Yes, I know what time it is, I have a watch! It  _is_  an emergency! My ring fell down the drain and I need a wrench! Because Yuuri hugged me and I wasn’t expecting it! …Hello?”

Yuuri looked from the video to their sink before looking over at Viktor. “Does he have one?”

“He says he’ll be right over.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> originally on [tumblr](http://cutthroatpixie.tumblr.com/post/164278801454/more-from-the-rivals-au-yuuri-and-viktor-both)


	17. Dream Rivalry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More deep and vicious rivalry between our boys wow

“Yuuri!” Viktor had already been laying down when Yuuri told him about his (ridiculous) dream. That did not stop him from somehow dramatically throwing himself onto the bed, one hand over his eyes and the other on Yuuri’s arm. “I would never do such a thing!”

Yuuri laughed. “Oh really?”

“Not to a  _child._  Not to be mean!”

“It was just a dream, darling.”

“A wrong dream! You don’t really think I’d be rude to you if we met when we were younger, do you?”

“Oh, I don’t know…”

Viktor sighed deeply. “You think so little of me-EE. Yuuri, that tickles!”

“I,” Yuuri said, his fingers flying swiftly over Viktor’s sides as he leaned over to kiss Viktor’s cheek. “Am so sorry. I’ll tell my brain to dream of something better next time.”

Viktor laughed and squirmed away. “Dream of me giving you kisses and telling you you’re the best husband ever next time.”

“I don’t really need to dream of that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally on [tumblr](http://cutthroatpixie.tumblr.com/post/164278553309/re-our-rivals-au-remember-the-time-yuuri-wakes)


End file.
